


Double Date

by dangirlphillie



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Asexual! Phil, Drunken Kissing, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Love Confessions, M/M, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-13 00:19:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16882032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dangirlphillie/pseuds/dangirlphillie
Summary: When Dan accidentally asks out  a lesbian couple on a double date, he and Phil are forced to pretend they've been dating for years on a night out a town.A little oneshot featuring Aspec!Phil.





	Double Date

Dan and Phil were career-centric men. If anything, for eight years, they had been a bit _too_ career centric. It had been convenient that they live together and while they both absolutely loved being around each other, the truth was living together deterred potential love interests. That, and the massive amount of fangirls who thought they were in love.

It wasn’t that Phil was disgusted by the idea of dating Dan, nor the same for the latter, but they were just friends. Best friends, career partners, and probably each others best confidant—but they’d never had sex. They’d never even considered having sex. Phil, unlike Dan, didn’t mind this. He considered himself “greyspec” and hadn’t sought out a sexual relationship since college since, well, he didn’t need one, so why bother? Phil wouldn’t mind having sex, per say, but he didn’t crave it. Dan, though, was a horny little shit. He hadn’t shagged anyone since 2012, and never failed to mention it to Phil regularly. Apparently, Dan was getting desperate. That much was evident when, one day, while out on a usual Starbucks run, Dan grabbed Phil’s arm with alarming tightness.

“Remember this morning how I told you I was going to die if I didn’t either get dicked or give dick?” asked Dan. Phil looked up from his phone to discover Dan eyeing down two young women who looked to be in their mid to late twenties. One was a short woman with cropped black hair and sky blue eyes, and her friend was a brunette with two dimples that appeared when she smiled. They both wore Converse, and were giggling over something on the taller one’s phone.

“Um, yes. Am I ordering you a caramel macchiato?” Phil asked in a vain attempt to change the subject. Dan swatted a hand in the air as if swatting the question away.

“Listen, Phil, I adore you, but tour is finally over. That means I can finally, _finally_ have sex,” Dan licked his lips looking straight at the women. Phil looked around to make sure no one was listening to Dan’s horndog comments.

“You sound like a teenager. Are you trying to say you want me to go with you when you talk to them?” asked Phil. Finally, Dan tore his eyes from the two young ladies and nodded like an excited child at Phil. Phil sighed. While the one with brown hair was kind of cute, Phil really wasn’t looking to chat up anyone at the shop that day. He just wanted a chocolate croissant and to people watch in a non- salacious way.

They approached the women after ordering their drinks and sat across them at a table.

“Is it alright if we sit here?” asked Dan “It’s kind of crowded and we can’t find any other seats next to each other.” Phil nodded awkwardly.

“Yes, of course!” said the brown haired girl chipperly “She’s been wanting to talk to you since you guys walked in.” The woman pointed a thumb at her raven-haired companion, who immediately blushed a bright scarlet.

“Rosie!” she squeaked. The women, who was apparently named Rosie, giggled and slung an arm around her friend’s shoulder.

“It’s okay! I’m assuming you two are fans?” asked Phil. Rosie nodded.

“Yeah, well, Aaliyah was the OG fan, but she introduced me to your videos a little while ago. Didn’t you go to one of their live shows, Liyah?” asked Rosie. At that point, Aaliyah’s face turned tomato with embarrassment.

“Yes… and a meet and greet,” admitted Aaliyah. Nervously, she tugged her beanie further down her cropped black hair, covering her red ears. Dan smiled brightly.

“A meet and greet? I’m shocked we didn’t recognize you then! Would have thought I would have remembered such, ah,” Dan laughed nervously, wanting to say _pretty_ , but chickening out “Such _awesome_ fans.” It was subtle, but Phil could see the cringe dance across Dan’s face. It was comical and Phil hid a grin by taking a sip of his drink. Briefly, Liyah’s eyes met Phil’s, two nearly identical shades of clear blue. Rosie shook her head and a loose curl fell into her lip gloss.

“Oh, don’t be nice, I know you guys could never remember every fan you meet. It’s kind of crazy that we’re actually meeting you now! Phil, I have to admit, I absolutely love you content,” gushed Rosie. Phil’s eyebrows rose in surprise. Despite all the years of being a Youtuber, he still wasn’t used to the compliments on his work.

“Thank you! I love making it,” he said. Rosie leaned foreword a little and beside her Liyah tensed up.

“What’s it like to be a Youtuber? I’ve always wanted to start my own channel, but I’m too scared!” said Rosie.

“It’s, um, it’s weird sometimes, but also really fun. It’s also a lot more work than you’d think,” said Phil. Right when Rosie was about to respond, Aaliyah’s phone went off.

“Oh no! Rosie, we have to go, Ross is waiting for us down the street at Tesco,” said Aaliyah. As the two women stood up and gathered their coats, Dan asked not-to-subtly “Oh, is Ross your boyfriend?”

The women shared a look and burst out laughing.

“No, he isn’t, not at all,” said Rosie, sharing a secretive look at Aaliyah. Phil felt they had some type of inside joke neither he nor Dan were going to be let in on.

“Hey, before you go, Phil and I were thinking about getting some drinks today at a pub down the street from here. If you want to talk more about becoming a Youtuber, you’re welcome to join us,” said Dan, standing up as well. He gave Phil a look, causing Phil to scramble up from his seat with half a chocolate croissant in his mouth.

“Absolutely!” replied Aaliyah. Rosie eyed the raven-haired woman and they giggled.

“Fangirl,” teased Rosie “Sure, just give me your number and I’ll shoot you a text.”

* * *

 

Later that night, Dan came strutting out into the living room wearing a zip up black shirt with a grid blazer, monochromatic and on-brand as ever. His curly hair was sprayed down with the faintest amount of product and Phil could smell the cologne from his spot on the couch.

“How do I look?” asked Dan. Phil stood up from his spot on the couch, paced over to his best friend, and picked a piece of lint off his shoulder. He stood close enough he could smell Dan’s toothpaste.

“Handsome,” said Phil “I look like trash compared to you.” Phil wore one of his merch sweatshirts, skinny jeans, and Converse. He simply didn’t feel comfortable dressing nicely for the bar. Even more so (and he hadn’t told Dan this), he didn’t exactly feel comfortable with the double date thing either. Dan suggested that Phil would pair off with Rosie, and he with Aaliyah, but Rosie intimidated Phil and he also had no interest in “pairing off” at all. Plus, in all the time that Dan and Phil lived together, Dan never brought anyone home for the night. For some reason, the idea of Dan bringing Aaliyah home and having sex with her in the other room made Phil feel a little nauseous.

“You do not look like trash. I wish I looked that nice wearing my merch and some jeans. Face it Phil, you’re just naturally beautiful,” said Dan. Despite the fact his voice was tinged with sarcasm, his face read as genuine. Phil loved when Dan complimented him. Always had.

“Thanks. Okay, are we ready to go?” asked Phil. Dan nodded, but before they headed toward the stairs, he gave Phil a quick hug.

“Thanks for doing this with me Phil. I know you’re not the ‘get laid’ type, so it means a lot to me that you’re my wingman. Plus these girls seem super nice! Maybe it could end up being more than a one night thing, who knows,” commented Dan as he led Phil toward the door. Trailing behind him, Phil didn’t understand why Dan’s words filled him with dread.

                When they arrived at the pub, they found Aaliyah and Rosie sitting near the window looking absolutely stunning. Like Dan, Rosie had dressed up in monochromatic, pairing a long sleeved black dress with a pair of zip up heeled boots that were shiny and white. Aaliyah had gone more casual, wearing white jeans and a low cut top that was powder blue and flowy. Unlike Rosie, though, she had gone for a more dramatic make up look with an orange cut crease. Slung around Rosie’s shoulder was a small camera bag.

                When they entered into the bar, the two men greeted them and all four found a booth near the back. Dan offered to buy the first round of drinks for everyone. Phil ordered a sex on the beach, which caused Dan to roll his eyes and scoff at the amount of sugar Phil consumed. Likewise, Dan ordered himself a rum and coke, and both ladies ordered orange bourbon. They chatted a bit about the weather and other trivial facets of London, including the ridiculous amount of pigeons, until their drinks came. Once they were drinking, Rosie talked about her plans for her Youtube channel, including having Aaliyah on as a special guest for make up tutorials, and asked Phil if he would mind looking at her camera to see if it was good enough quality. Admittedly, Phil felt a little honored being regarded as such an expert on all things Youtube, and he was happy to talk about a topic he felt comfortable with. As this went on, Dan tried to get Aaliyah to come out of her shell a bit and found out that both of them tried to eat mostly vegan, so they chatted on about that a little while as well. After Phil instructed Rosie on how to find proper lighting, the conversation had died down a bit and all four were left with empty cups. Aside from Dan, who had ordered the least amount of alcohol, everyone else was a little buzzed.

                It was at this time that Rosie slung her arm around Aaliyah again just like in the coffee shop and planted a very flirty kiss on her neck. Liyah giggled and swatted her away.

                “Rosie! We’re with people, leave me be,” complained Aaliyah. Rosie shot her a wicked grin.

                “Sorry, you know how I get when I drink,” Rosie sighed and turned to the puzzled men “Aaliyah and I have been dating for nearly two years now, you think she’d be used to it! What about you? How long have you guys been together?”

                “Yeah, not to be a fangirl, but did you two start dating when you first started Youtube, or did that come later?” asked Aaliyah.

                Dan and Phil looked at each other, wide eyed, but luckily did not have to answer the question as the bartender approached them, asking if they were interested in refills. After ordering more drinks, Phil made a hasty escape to the bathroom, and before he even entered the other room he heard Dan explaining to the women that he was following to make sure Phil was okay.

                It wasn’t super crowded that night, so in the bathroom the two were relatively alone.

                “Dan! I thought you said this was a double date! It’s really not cool to creep on a lesbian couple like that,” said Phil. He crossed his arms and glared from across the restroom. Dan grabbed his phone and scrolled through his messages while running a stressed hand through his hair.

                “I swear to you, I had no clue they were dating! I thought I’d said ‘date’ when texting Rosie. Oh shit. Here, look, I completely misinterpreted this, didn’t I?” Dan held out this phone and Phil grabbed it, examining the texts.

                _Dan: So does 8 work for you?_

_Rosie: Yeah! Aaliyah is going to be so excited, we haven’t gone on a double date in forever._

_Dan: Well Phil and I are practically attached at the hip, lol._

                “You’re such a complete spoon, I swear,” said Phil. He pinched the bridge of his nose and decided that he needed more alcohol.

                “What are we going to do? I don’t want to seem like a giant creep. They’re our fans for fuck’s sake! That would look so bad,” replied Dan. Phil looked up from his spot at the sink and shrugged.

                “Well I guess the only thing to do is pretend we have been together all this time. I mean, it’s not like they have any reason to believe otherwise. It won’t be that hard,” said Phil. Dan sighed.

                “Yup, I guess so. So much for getting laid tonight.”

When Dan and Phil emerged from the restroom, Dan took Phil’s hand in his own, causing Phil to raise a confused eyebrow. Dan shrugged.

                “Might as well,” replied Dan. As they weaved their way between games of pool and messy drunks, they found the two girls had scooted closer together, with Aaliyah practically in Rosie’s lap.

                “You guys missed it!” giggled Rosie “Aaliyah flicked an ice cube off the table and it landed in some guy’s drink across the bar!” Phil noticed that while two drinks sat waiting in their spots, Aaliyah and Rosie had already emptied theirs. Before Dan sat down, the waitress scooted around him and handed both girls fresh long island iced teas. They were still giggling before they each took a sip.

                “Are you girls in the mood to get really drunk tonight?” asked Dan “Because Phil and I talked it over and we’re in the mood to get snot-slinging. Isn’t that right, babe?” Phil jolted in his seat, caught off guard by the pet name. Rosie took along sip of her drink and giggled.

                “Hell yeah! I know a fun dance club down the street if you guys want to go. The drinks are cheaper than this place too. What do you say, Liyah? Phil?” asked Rosie.

                Liyah nodded enthusiastically. Her cheeks were already red from the last drink with an alcohol flush.

                “Yeah,” Phil agreed. He grabbed his glass, about to suck it down, when Dan held his aloft for the group.

                “I propose a toast,” said Dan “To good company and great sex.” Aaliyah and Rosie toasted him with a loud cheer, and Phil joined in. He side eyed Dan trying to gauge his mood, but Dan only replied with a cheeky wink that caused Liyah to squeal like one of the girls in the front row of Interactive Introverts. It seemed he found the whole situation amusing.

                “Alright love birds, let’s get going,” teased Rosie as she pulled Aaliyah up from the booth.

* * *

 

                Neither Dan nor Phil were party people, but Phil had been to Uni. He knew that if he drank enough, dancing, no matter how bad, would naturally occur. When they first met, Dan was beyond shy about drinking and especially dancing, but after enough nights out Dan learned he liked to show off. As a result, whenever they went out to a club, Dan ended up dancing as well, typically with the hottest guy or girl in the club. A few times, that guy was Phil. It had been a long time since they danced together and Phil had to admit, he was excited. Dan was a good dancer.

                The group of four started by finding the bar. The front lobby, which was gilded and vintage looking, featured a basic bar then, upon entering the dance floor, the group found two levels. On the top floor there was another bar, on the bottom there was a glowing dance floor and DJ. They stopped by the gilded bar at the entrance and took shots. When they entered the dance floor, they pushed past the crowds per Rosie’s instructions, and went upstairs. This upstairs bar was significantly less crowded, so they each ordered larger drinks. Phil even got Dan to order a sex on the beach, despite his lip-curl at the amount of sugar.

                By the time they were halfway through their drinks, each member of the party was sufficiently buzzed.

                “Babe,” crooned Dan “We haven’t danced in forever!” Dan clung to Phil’s arm and stumbled toward the stairs. As he was a little more steady, Phil wrapped his arm around Dan’s waist. Aaliyah and Rosie, on the other hand, made their way to the balcony that overlooked the dance floor. They peered down at the people, pointed, and then kissed each other gently. Phil watched them. He suddenly felt really empty, and lonely.

                And drunk.

                Even though both girls were far enough away they wouldn’t even notice, Phil pulled Dan close to him. Dan looked up at Phil through his eyelashes and a current ran between them. Suddenly, they weren’t showing off for the girls, or even pretending. They kissed.

                It was a sloppy kiss, a little drunk, but also a wonderful spark of energy. Gently, Phil took Dan’s chin in his hand. Dan took a step foreword and effectively pinned Phil to the wall. Once there, things got heated quickly. Gentle, tentative kisses turned hot and rough. Dan moaned into Phil’s mouth, but no one could hear that over the music. When they broke apart, Dan’s face broke into a goofy grin.

                “Making out at a bar is so slutty! We should stop,” he slurred. Phil giggled, because nothing felt all that serious, even the attraction between them. His brain was too addled to process the fact he’d just made out with his best friend, business partner, and roommate of 8 years, so Phil simply kissed Dan’s cheek and nodded.

                “It totally- it is!” he responded. They still hadn’t broken apart yet when a not-so-subtle “ahem” came from beside them. Dan took a step back from Phil and they greeted Rosie and Aaliyah cheerfully.

                “You guys better stop or I think Aaliyah is going to have a heart attack,” responded Rosie. Aaliyah, who was leaning heavily against her girlfriend, nodded hard enough that her bangs fell in front of her face.

                “I want to dance!” whined Dan. He grabbed Phil’s hand and led the group toward the stairs. Aaliyah, spurred by the liquor, babbled on the entire way to the dance floor. Everything moved too fast and felt sort of surreal.

                “I love this club so much! Rosie, I can’t believe we are on a double date with Dan and Phil! I’m-I’m sorry I’m such a fangirl, guys, I just can’t believe it,” she said. Phil turned to speak to her as they headed to the dance floor.

                “We’re having fun! You guys are fun! We should hang out more, I-I always like to make new friends,” he paused “Also, I liked making out with Dan too, that was fun.” Rosie began to cackle as she squeezed Aaliyah’s hand. Out of the four, she appeared to hold her liquor best. Dan blushed bright red from the alcohol and Phil’s drunken compliment.

                Once on the dance floor, an upbeat pop song remixed to have a beat drop got the four hyped. Rosie wrapped her arms around Aaliyah’s shoulders as they swung side to side, with Aaliyah sneaking in a kiss every so often. Dan grabbed both of Phil’s hands and wrapped them around his waist from behind, then to the best of his ability took the lead. It had been years since they danced together. Maybe it was just the alcohol, but Phil couldn’t believe what a good dancer Dan was as they grinded and swayed across the dance floor.

                Somewhere around 2AM, the group tired and headed out to the streets of London. A rush of cool night air brought relief to Phil, who, after an hour of dancing, had begun to sweat quite profusely. The bar was so crowded by the time they left with people that they had to push their way past people to exit. Rosie pulled out a vape pen then proceeded to share with Liyah and Dan, but Phil turned it down. Still quite drunk, and now quite high, the couples parted in their respective Ubers with promises to go out together again.

                In the Uber, Dan didn’t hesitate to pounce on Phil. Without paying heed to the Uber driver, Dan crawled onto Phil’s lap and began to kiss down his neck. Phil sighed and gave into the wonderful sensation. Everything about kissing and touching Dan felt so right. It was like coming home after a long day.

                “I don’t know what’s going on,” murmured Phil “But this is nice. Why haven’t we done this before?” Dan hummed non- distinctly and started to nip lightly at Phil’s neck. By the time they arrived home, Phil begun to sober up, so he took charge in paying the driver and leading Dan up the stairs to their flat. Dan leaned heavily against Phil and occasionally tried to sneak a kiss. Phil giggled and struggled to unlock the front door as Dan pawed at his shirt.

                “I want—Phil, I want you. Let’s do it! I-I’ve got condoms, and—” Phil silenced Dan with a kiss as they stumbled into the apartment. When Dan moved to unbutton his jeans, though, Phil grabbed his wrists gently.

                “We’re too drunk,” said Phil “Okay?” Dan sighed in disappointment, but went back to kissing Phil. He pulled them toward the couch, where they continued to make out. Dan roughly grabbed onto Phil’s hair and pulled, then mumbled something against his lips about Phil being really handsome, and grinded against him lewdly. Since he was so drunk, though, Phil really couldn’t make out what he was saying. Despite the fact he didn’t want to, Phil pulled away with a final kiss on Dan’s cheek.

                “You need to sober up before you go to sleep,” commanded Phil. When Dan made a move to stand, Phil held out a hand, then stumbled into the kitchen. He started to fill up his small vase with water when, from the living room, he heard Dan start retching. Phil rushed out to check on him and found that Dan, luckily, made his to their small waste basket they usually used for paper.

                Phil stayed with Dan until he was done vomiting, then made Dan drink an entire vase-worth of water. After he was assured that Dan felt better, Phil led Dan to the couch and laid him down. He covered Dan with a blanket, set the waste basket beside him, and set a timer on his phone to check on Dan in an hour. After that, Phil curled up on the living room floor, clothes still on, and passed out.

                Around 4 AM, Phil awoke to his alarm. A headache already began to set in, but Phil still pushed himself up and crawled to the couch. Dan slept soundly with gentle breathes. Phil, assured that his best friend was okay, left his phone on the coffee table to die, then crawled onto the couch. He wrapped an arm around Dan’s waist, snuggled his back, and fell asleep.

* * *

 

                Phil awoke to Dan groaning as he fell off the couch. The sunlight streaming in through the windows made Phil ache, and while all he wanted to do was curl up in a little ball and sleep forever, Phil forced himself to sit up. He felt gross. His mouth was dry but tasted vaguely of old liquor, and his clothing clung to him. Both guys smelled like a bar and Phil ran a hand through his messy hair, deciding the first thing he needed to do was take a shower.

                Then, all at once, he remembered the events from the night before. The two not only made out, but they made out _all night_. Dan even asked Phil to have sex with him! Phil’s stomach bloomed with anxiety. How was he supposed to approach this? More than anything, Phil worried this would somehow affect his friendship with Dan.

                Meanwhile, Dan, who had fallen off the couch, sat up and grabbed his head.

                “I’m never drinking again. I feel like actual death, holy shit,” muttered Dan. Phil didn’t respond, so Dan looked up and noticed his face, which was screwed up in contemplation. He frowned.

                “Oh, yeah,” mumbled Dan “Um, this is awkward.”

                “It’s okay!” said Phil quickly. Likewise, an awkward silence fell over the two as they stared at each other, hungover in the morning light. Dan cleared his throat.

                “We have a few options here,” said Dan “We could pretend this never happened and leave it as a crazy drunk night or we could… not.” He avoided Phil’s gaze. Suddenly exhausted, Phil squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his face. Then he looked up blinking, trying to catch Dan’s gaze.

                “Well, which would you prefer?” asked Phil at last. Dan shrugged.

                “I don’t know! I never thought this would happen,” he said irritably. Phil slid down from the couch and crawled over to Dan on the floor. Finally, Dan looked up and met his gaze. He searched Phil’s face as if looking for an answer, but Phil only smiled patiently.

                “Me either, but I didn’t mind it. If you want to forget about it we can, but I…” Phil trailed off. Dan examined him a moment then looked down at his hands.

                “I’ve wondered about this for a while now. I didn’t want to mess up our friendship because you mean so much to me but… maybe the reason I haven’t been with anyone in years is because I didn’t need anyone else. I don’t know. I don’t mean to sound cheesy or stupid,” admitted Dan.

                “That’s not cheesy or stupid at all. I’ve wondered the same thing,” Phil looked away “I kind of felt like you were my boyfriend already if I’m completely honest. I’ve explained to you I’m not really interested in sex, so I never brought it up because I felt like… like maybe I wouldn’t be enough for you.”

                “That’s so stupid, Phil,” scoffed Dan. Phil looked up, suddenly feeling more comfortable because Dan sounded like himself again.

                “No it’s not!” defended Phil, but a smile crept onto his face regardless. Dan smiled too with his dimple showing and Phil suddenly felt like he could melt.

                All at once, things had changed. Effortlessly, Dan and Phil were together, and years later they would debate when they really, truly became an item. Was it the night they started kissing on the dance floor? Or was it years ago when they’d started to do what couples did? It never seemed clear to Phil when they started because Dan felt like Phil’s boyfriend when he made breakfast for him almost every weekend in 2013, and when he bought the perfect Christmas gift in 2015, or when they shared a bed a few nights on tour in 2018. Was a relationship really marked by a title and physical affection? Phil felt like they were more than that. From the moment he’d laid eyes on Dan, a part of them both knew that they were each other’s, with or without affection.

                Likewise, it still seemed right that Aaliyah and Rosie were invited to the wedding.

**Author's Note:**

> Update: I received some anon hate on this work, but the phandom really pulled through. There were several people who messaged me on Tumblr and on this story, as well as all my friends in a group chat, who defended my work and helped me feel better about keeping it up. Just a note on that: to all the critics out there it is absolutely fine to leave constructive criticism, but watch the way you word it. The anon who left hate on this story bashed my writing without providing any details on how to make it better. I'm a relatively new writer and out of all my writing my fanfic receives the least editing. So yes, if you have something to add about how to improve, THAT IS FINE, but remember there is another person on the other side of the screen. Thank you again to all the sweet people who encouraged me to keep going <3


End file.
